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June 4, 2021

Reps Say Fauci Must Testify About Published Emails

Happy Friday Middle Americans,

Dr. Anthony Fauci’s emails were made public this week after Buzzfeed invoked the freedom of Information Act. In light of this, House Republicans say it’s “imperative” for Dr. Anthony Fauci to testify before congressional committees. The emails have sparked ire among Republicans, particularly due to Fauci’s comments on masks and the potential that the coronavirus leaked from a lab which the US gave money to.

In Ohio, eight football coached have been suspended over allegedly making a Hebrew Israelite player eat a pizza that contained pork. The student athlete had missed a prior weightlifting session due to injury and the coaches told him to eat an entire pepperoni pizza as punishment. The student had previously informed the coaches that he didn’t eat pork due to his religion. The Canton Police Department is currently investigating the incident.

Elsewhere, a recent study finds that at least 10% of the world’s mature giant sequoia trees were destroyed by a single California wildfire last year. Christy Brigham, chief of resources management and science at Sequoia and Kings Canyon National Parks, had this to say: “I cannot overemphasize how mind-blowing this is for all of us. These trees have lived for thousands of years. They’ve survived dozens of wildfires already.”

Ever been heckled by a sex toy? A mayoral event in Albuquerque was interrupted by a flying drone with a sex toy attached to it, operated by a man who called the candidate a “tyrant” while swinging his fist. New Mexico sheriff and mayoral candidate Manuel Gonzales said of the incident, “It became so distracting from the sound and everything I couldn’t really get my point across.”

A good deed and an eagle-eye could net you $450K. In a tragic road-rage incident last month, 6-year-old Aiden Leos was shot and killed in Southern California while sitting in the backseat of his mother’s car. The reward for any information that leads to an arrest has been increased from the initial amount of $50,000. Authorities say the vehicle of interest is a white 2018 or 2019 Volkswagen Golf SportWagen with non-tinted windows, occupied by a female driver and a male passenger.

Lastly, in tech news, Twitter is finally allowing users to edit their tweets — for a price. On Thursday, Twitter announced it will be introducing a subscription service which will enable paying users to fix typos in their tweets. The service is initially rolling out in Australia and Canada, but will eventually be made available in the US for $2.99 per month.

Be well,

Fraser Dixon

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