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Noah Green

April 3, 2021

Authorities identify man who struck two US Capitol police

What’s up, America?

A suspect who assaulted two US Capitol police on Friday was identified as a 22-year-old Islam follower named Noah Green. One officer passed away while the other is being treated following the incident. Green also laid to rest after sustaining gunshots.

Amid the COVID-19 pandemic, Christians across the world continue to commemorate the passion of Christ during the holy week. May we always remember that sacrifice, sincerely.

In Iraq, a baby was born with three penises. Yes, you read it right. The baby has a rare condition called triphallia, the first-ever case recorded worldwide.

Vaccinated baby boomers in Florida are now living their summer to the fullest. Some of them are celebrating as if they were still in their glory days, always ready to party.

Amazon’s CEO Jeff Bezos’ dream of owning an NFL team could soon become true. He may have the chance to acquire Los Angeles Chargers, per reports. Will the team become a champion-caliber afterwards? 

Nike has successfully secured a temporary restraining order against the selling of Lil Nas X’s ‘Satan Shoes.’ Alas, light will always win against darkness. Well, at least for now.

Take care,

Fraser Dixon

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